somethings myspace just shouldn’t be used for

It is my opinion that myspace is innapropriate for certain things. One of these is male-female relations. And yet I use it for that very purpose. In fact, it is my primary method of contacting boys. So what is so wrong with using it for said relations? I'll tell you.

Many of us have fear of commitment, or fear of intimacy, or both. I myself have the latter, although my recent long relationship has given me a touch of the former as well. Many of us also have developed 'coping' mechanisms to deal with said fears. My primary methods are as follows:
1.Pining for someone who is not around.
2.Relying on alternate methods of communication to pursue connection.

I happen to think that the second is just a lighter form of the first, but it is the second I mostly intend to talk about in this blog.

If used in moderation either can be fun and even healthy, but if heavily favored they can lead to deeply worn ruts. Trust me, I'm an expert.

Pining for someone who is not around basically means carrying a torch for someone you have no contact with at all. The reason this one is dangerous is you have no meter stick, no guage upon which to measure the other person's feelings. In addition, you idealize them to the extent that no live person can actually measure up. All the while, this allows you to be in love without having to actually do anything (nobody loves no-one, right?)

Relying on alternate methods of communication for connection is where myspace comes in.
First, lets talk about the inbox. I'm not sure if you are aware, but there is a 'sent' part of your inbox which will actually tell you if the receiving party has read your message or not. This provides ample opportunity for obsessing, which I do often.

Second, even though most people check their myspace with breakneck regularity, there is a lag between the sending and recieving. You really need instant gratification in these situations. Not to mention the additional obsessing, what with checking your email and/or myspace all the time.

The ambiguity of electronic communication is not a plus either. I have an annoying habit of rereading messages I send (and rereading) to check that the exact meaning and nuance I intended is present. I have often discovered unintended subtext in a message which you have to then either live with or send additional messages to clarify.

In the end, this method of coping is just an additional method of keeping people at a distance, thus avoiding intimacy, while still allowing one to make moves, so to speak.

Of course there is the alternate school of thought.
I don't really like feelings, I don't really like to talk about my feelings, and I don't like songs that talk about feelings. All that shit is better avoided.