the asylum

I reference the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy often in daily life. Hell, I answer questions in class with '42' at least once a quarter (they're math and science classes, so 42 could be a legitimate answer). Well, here goes another one. There was a character, I don't remember his name, but he lived in a place called the asylum. If you actually visit the asylum you find it's built inside out. The exterior walls have interior features, the furniture is on the outside, and the inside of the house is really the outdoors. The jist is that the rest of the world is really the asylum and what's inside, where the man lives, is the place for sane people. The reason he has done this is quite simple. On the wall in a frame is a box of toothpicks. It has instructions for use on it. That is sort of what I felt like tonight. I had an interesting weekend all around, but first let's talk about tonight. I had to pick up the other Czech at the airport, and of course his flight was delayed until 3, so I was unable to partake of any adult beverages. I felt really crappy all day, and I was pretty much inside the house, so I was happy to get out and do the bar thing, sober or no. Now I bartend occasionally at the hotel, so I'm really no stranger to being around drunk people. This was different. To be in the middle of it all watching as it happens and interacting with buzzed folks is quite surreal. I actually had a pretty good time, and if I had to I could make a habit of it. I was really surprised at that fact, I thought it would really suck. I did feel a little like I was the only person living outside the asylum, though. The best part of the evening was an interaction between Jake and Mrs. Lynne:

Jake: I was a Clinton supporter, actually.
Lynne: Why, are you from Mexico?

Jake and I laughed quite hard at that. We were not laughing at her, as I can only assume that she was buzzed and misunderstood what he said, but it was really classic.

Let's rewind to last night.

Last night one of my friends was busy making moves on a dude. As is often the case, me and said friend went to enjoy some after hours festivities with the dude and his friends. I was quite pleased by the male to female ratio, as the occupation of the friend left me the only other woman with 5 guys. That adds up to pick of the litter for old Amber. I wasn't wrong, there were several plays made, all of which were more or less politely refused (one of them I actually thought was cute).
The advances of one of them became a little impolite, and I was starting to get annoyed. When he asked me "What's your name, anyway?" I was happy to respond "Well it ain't Strawberry" (Strawberry, Strawberry, the neighborhood ho).
Eventually he divorced him self of all pretense at respect and told me to show my tits or get the fuck out. I don't remember what the other boys said, but I don't think they were defending my honor (they were probably passed out). Again, my friend was occupied, so of course she didn't want to leave. I was drunk and feeling feisty of course, so when the ultimatum was delivered yet again I replied, "What would you do with them, you have a tiny penis?" and slammed the door on my way out. I made a few calls to people I knew in the area, none of whom answered their phones (thanks a bunch), and eventually ended up walking the 15 blocks to the Sandy Hut and sleeping in my car. It got hot early.

Now lets return to tonight. I was sober because of the aformentioned trip to the airport, and as I was leaving the bar, several of the boys from the previous night begged me for a ride. I had a few minutes to spare so I obliged and I was so fucking happy when they went to get in and I got to tell the rude one, in front of everyone "YOU CAN'T FUCKING COME". The rest of us drove off. I was pleasantly surprised that his friends felt no loyalty to him and were quite willing to leave his punk ass.   PAYBACK'S A BITCH. It was even more satisfying because earlier that night when he arrived at the hut I really wanted to avenge myself. I had fantasized about what I would do if I were braver and confident in my ability to kick his ass (he was a smaller dude). I had the idea that I would walk up to him, flash my boobs, and then punch him in the face. The way things turned out was good enough.

OH AND SOMEBODY HIT MY FUCKING CAR AT THE AMBASSADOR. THERES A MEDIUM DENT IN THE DRIVER SIDE DOOR NOW AND IT CREAKS WHEN I OPEN IT. FUCKER.