Road Trip- in progress

8 hours in a car without air conditioning, sweaty as hell, in a rush to get a cheap hotel. Apparently $90 is too much to pay, so we settle for a $75 one which looks alright from the outside. It is not. I will later post pictures, but right now you'll have to trust me. It has a kitchenette, but the stove is not plugged in, the table has only one chair, and several of the cabinets are missing their doors. And that's just the kitchenette. In the main area the dresser is missing a drawer, there are two diferent curtains on the windows, and there is no AC in San Jose, CA. In the bathroom, there was no toilet paper and a toothless man knocks on the door soon after check in with a shower head in his hand, as there isn't one.  The walls are covered in plaster and the water is pink. The neighbors are crackheads and there are broken appliances outside. The only bright spot: San Jose has free public wi-fi so I am able to be online right now. This part of the trip wasn't really for me anyway. I used to live here, but Carla (the bride) grew up here, and I brought them their car so they could get back on time without having to pay $500 to change plane tickets. I'm just along for the ride. Their family is out visiting with her friends and I wasn't really up to it. I thought this as good a time as any to blog. I am seriously scared by this room, and I'm not easily spooked. This trip has given me ample opportunity to forget about my problems and, alternatively, time to dwell on them. Driving through the desert for 19 hours alone will force you into self reflection. I know that in the grand scale my problems are minor, but they feel big. But enough about that, let's talk about vegas.
I have decided to look at this as a learning trip. I could have had a better time had I been a bit more experienced with this town, and I learned alot about what to do and what not to do. Don't get me wrong, I've had a blast, but I made alot of mistakes. The first day here was the best. I woke up at around 12 after crashing immediately upon arrival at around 5:30. I went down to a cafe and spent $7 for a sandwich and soup, and soda. It wasn't awful, but I warn all who hope to visit here that vegas food gives you the shits. Then to the pool. It was hot, as I'm told Vegas is this time of year. It was crowded too. Not just the pool, the whole f'ing town was packed. The bridal mafia was in full effect, something about the 8/8/08 thing being a big wedding day. Also, there was a fraternity convention in town (awesome). Next I headed to the mall to get my haircut before the wedding later that night. No go as the cheapest place in the mall wanted $50, and my hair cut ain't difficult enough to be worth that. So I went back and started to get ready. The ceremony was in a cute little outdoor area of the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel. It was short and to the point, and I will never forget the look on Carla's face during the ceremony. It's hard to explain; it was partly nervousness, and Rich said her hands were shaking, but it was also something else that I can't really describe. Everyone looked beautiful and it was perfect. Then it was off to the
Stratosphere for the reception. I gambled a little before the reception as we had some time to kill. I lost $25 on $5 blackjack but made up some of it with my free beer.  I didn't lose it immediately, I won a few hands, and should have stuck with table games for the rest of my trip. Then dinner, which was quite good. A few people gave toasts, and of course I couldn't resist, mostly because it was so loud in there I knew I was the only one who would be heard.

"Carla, now you can't try to sell him anymore; Rich, there are no words. You're short-bus special, baby and we love you. "

Eloquent, I know.

Everyone's feet hurt unbelievably bad and mine were no exception. We head back to the hotel to change our clothes and prepare for some heavy duty partying. Everyone else partied the night before and so I was a bit more anxious than them. I'm not exactly sure what happened next. What I do know is that in our hotel there were no $5 blackjack tables and I certainly wasn't prepared for $15 a hand. So I went to the electronic games. First of all, the video poker machines don't recommend which cards to hold like they do back home. I don't know how many wins I missed because I forgot that. Not just when I forgot altogether, but when I forgot to count straights. Anyway, in not much time I had lost $120. I just had a bad feeling at that point and decided that that would be my entire gambling budget. A good thing, because after I drank and whatnot, I had $100 left. I just wasn't prepared for how expensive everything was. For example, a 6 inch sub meal at subway was $9.15. I can not tell you how many times I have heard 'why didn't you get a five dollar foot long?' The best part of the night was the clubbing. We didn't bother with 'Rain' or anything like that, either you have to get in really early or the cover is really high and the line really long. We went to a club in the lobby of our hotel (the Imperial Palace, on the strip). It was actually really cool. One of the members of our party paid for VIP, so we had our own section with free booze. Awesome. Plus, they played better music in the first 10 minutes than I heard the entire time I was at a club last time in Portland. And once you've had VIP, it's hard not to be spoiled. The bars don't close in Vegas, so we GOT IT ON. We danced our asses off. Some memorable moments were  'Face down, Ass up' by 2 live crew and the Pony song, I don't know who thats by (if you're horny, let's do it, ride it, my pony. My saddle's waiting, come and jump on it) There was lots of air lassooing and mimed ass slapping. We then decided not to pay $265 for another bottle of booze, as the same bottle was $25 in the lobby store. We bought one and headed to the room. I'm actually amazed how long we made it before security was called. Highlights of that were playing 'I never' (of course I was put on blast, as usual) and the passing of the cigaweed. Others played spades, but I am not familiar with that game. We eventually headed to breakfast. I got distracted by the shiny flashing lights and sat down to play a little. I end up chatting with an English bloke here for some IT conference. Leave it to me to find another computer nerd. By this time it is approaching 6 am and I am loaded. I would like to take a second and appreciate the fact that I am blasted out of my gourd and it's okay, in fact it's encouraged. The English bloke and his friend buy me another beer, we gamble some more, and I am off to bed. I wake at 3 the next day and go walk the pallazo at Caesar's Palace: the one with the famous ceiling. I was a bit disheartened at this point because I realize that this uber-mall thing is a lot of what there is to do here, and something I am entirely not interested in. It's still exciting to look at. Next came my $9 sub in the middle of the casino next door to ours called 'O'shea's. This casino is far superior to ours in many ways, and it's clear that my time the night before was entirely wasted. First, the barker is a midget, dressed like a leprechaun. Awesome. They have 24 hour happy hour with $2 drinks, and there table minimums are $5 or less. There is also beer pong. The best part, though, is this casino has War. You gamble on the old lame as child's game. I later find out that even the Bellagio, of Ocean's Eleven fame, has war. The imperial palace did not. I find that it is depressing in Vegas with little or no money, so I go take a nap. We end the night walking the strip. For some stupid reason I decided not to drink that night. We see Harrahs, the MGM Grand, the Bellagio, NY NY, Treasure Island, the Luxor, and more I can't remember. The people watching is awesome, there is an obese wheelchair-madame, panhandlers, and people hawking hookers wearing sandwich boards. Back to the hotel for a 3 am breakfast and then off to sleep. Sunday we go spend the day at Rich's cousins house up in the desert. The pool in their apartment has a waterfall, and the view is AMAZING. We leave Las Vegas in the Expedition, my chariot from the trip up.
It has a 24 gallon tank and is advertised to get 18 mpg highway. This works out to about 432 miles on a tank. There must have been a 'last gas for 97 miles' sign, but towards the end of my second tank of gas I missed it. I am white knuckled in the middle of the Nevada desert praying for a gas station. At 512 miles on the odometer I pull into Ely, Nevada, proclaiming a gasoline miracle.
Anyway, now we are on our way out and it is HOT. I still sleep for 7 or so hours. We pull into San Jose and start looking for a motel.

Fast forward to now, when I am watching fuzzy tv and writing this blog. We are headed to Santa Cruz tomorrow, which should be fun, then we will head home at about midnight tomorow night. I cannot wait to get home. Honestly I was over it yesterday. I wish I had flown.