I think therefore I am. Or something.

If you've spent time around me recently you know that I've been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. At first I thought it was midterms, then I thought it was pms, and it did turn out to be a bit of both those things, but It has lingered. It just hit me how long I've been spending my days doing math and physics problems. Theoretically that will all stop, sort of , after I finally graduate. I have realized that I am not going to be a theoreticist. I think I'm gonna be an experimentalist. I think that my computer business/hobby made me realize that. I really like physics, but I especially like the fancy equipment we use to do physics, like vacuums, microscopes, etc. I kind of like being really needed, the way I am now. Programmers and CE's are alright, but even they still need me. I think that's gonna be my niche. I know it sounds silly, but I have this vision of myself in a spaceship in the future, and I'm the one that keeps all the machines running. I'm so invaluable and no one can do what I do, that's what gets me on the crew in the first place. That's also why they have to accept me, loud and aggressive, tattoos and all. It's sort of a movie in my head. That leads me to my point; the existentialism in my career has lead to some other reevaluation. I am 32, I am as single as it gets. I have no kids, I'm a MS student who won't really get to start my career till I'm 37. I am going to be probably $100,000 in debt (and a Doctor, so i guess it balances). I don't own a house I don't have a retirement, and I don't know where I'm going to school in 2 years. What is my point? Where is this going? That's what I want to know.