Slip out the back, Jack

I am staring down the barrel of what could be the end of my most significant and lengthy relationship to date, and I'm torn. I'm happy to be rid of some of the weekly battles that caused us to break up, but mostly I'm just sad. Whatever I may say in many of the coming nights that find me drunk, he is one of the truly decent men out there, of which there are few. He is kind, funny, and smart. We just weren't right for each other, and that's truly sad. It's far easier to break up when you hate each other, but when you still have deep feelings it's hard. It came really suddenly (although observers may disagree), out of a place where we were really getting along, and I was in a 'we're gonna make it' phase. It's generally the way I am, though. I get irritated or dissatisfied with something and try and deal with it in various ways until poof, I just make up my mind. Actually, the battles may have just been a symptom of what was really the problem: children. He say's he doesn't want them and I know I do. I have to finish grad school and, hopefully, my PhD before that time, but still...Many times he has said he will probably cave and I'll get my way, but I don't think that's the right way to go about it. I don't want to think about it any more right now or I'll cry.