You had to be a big shot

That song by billy joel always makes me feel guilty because i think it was probably written about a woman not too different from me. However, I am improving in this area alot in my old age. I'm still kind of a show off, though. Thats kind of irrelevant tonight. My love life is in the crapper. All i have to say is ftf never works. And when it goes bad, i'm always the one who comes out on the shit end. Of course all my relationships are like that. The good news is i'm all moved. I'm not all unpacked, not by a longshot, but it feels good to be in no rush. Watched Frida today. My what an interesting woman she was. Some of her stuff is too abstract for me, but i like her much more now that I've seen the movie. My that diego was a piece of work. Part of me wants to hate him, but, Idunno, i don't. Fear of having a relationship like that is what has left me how i am. A semi serial monogamist who has a tendency to sleep with my friends but won't let any one guy get me too jazzed. I'm still pining for the one that got away. He knows who he is. If you're out there, I'm still here.