Waxing Philosophical

you wouldn't know it to hang out with me but i'm a closet idealist. This applies to my country, my body, my education, and my integrity. Beware the next sentence sounds excruciatingly cheesy. I started on a journey of self improvement several years ago, focusing mainly on my karma. I have been relentless in the pressure i put on myself, largely because I felt for a long time nothing was happening. My behavior and choices weren't changing and i was seeing no results. After about seven years i have reached a level of confidence in the fact that i actually am noticeably much more mature. Again, to those who know me this may not seem obvious, but maturity is not always obvious. I don't consider myself an expert, but there are certain people in my life who i sort of feel like are my protege's in this arena. Lately i have been having the feeling that nothing is happening with my main protege, and i have been kept up nights with frustration. On the other hand, i cant give up. Tonight i was watching the west wing, which i love, and martin sheen quoted some german philosopher who said that politics "Is the boring by hand through hard boards and anyone who participates risks his soul" My first reaction was to get discouraged because i remembered what everyone knows which is that change is very very slow. On the other hand, i felt better because i know that anything that takes that long and requires that much hard work won't fall apart. It's solid stuff.