one more

This one I am particularly proud of: it is a response to Byron Beck (Willamette Week's Queer Window) branding all Christians homophobic gay bashers.

I'm sure Byron Beck is a very nice man, I've never met him. I am also sure that in his recent article regarding going "back in the closet" he was referring specifically to the intolerant and bigoted Christians and not the entire population. It's just a symptom of the air regarding religion among the hipster, too-cool-for-God population of Portland (not hatin' on PDX, I'm a native). It's gotten so I'm afraid to admit I believe anymore, because I don't want to be lumped in with the bible-thumpers. Now there are quite a few points on which they and I disagree, but as it pertains to Byron Beck, the Defense of Marriage Council does not speak for me, and frankly, I don't think they speak for Jesus. At issue is whether or not Jesus (or God) approves of homosexuality, and if that approval is grounds for crusade for legislation. The visible religious right claim that it is reprehensible in the creator's eyes (although I'm not sure I agree) but EVEN if that were the case, their crusade for prohibitive legislation is entirely contrary to the message Jesus preached, one of tolerance, love, and understanding. The distinguishing factor of Jesus' brand of tolerance as opposed to all the others that have been offered was the unique idea that we show tolerance and patience with what we DON'T understand. I believe that is also, incidentally the foundation of the first amendment, but that's another argument. I'm quite convinced that even if- especially if- Jesus (or God) disapproved of homosexuality (which, again, I'm not sure is the case) he would still support the RIGHT of gays, lesbians, and any consenting adults to live and let live. Jesus supports GAY RIGHTS. PS Can the Blazer's catch an f'ing break?

I’m a nerd and, uh, I’m pretty proud of it.

<br>So this is my desktop<br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/desktop.jpg">This is much more complicated than a simple nerd's replication of a federation computer interface. A lot of work went into putting this desktop together, as it is not just beautiful, but also functional. The reason I think you might care is that the software that went into it is all free and widely available.<br><br>First, check out the date/time at the bottom of the screen. That is a live calendar and clock embedded into the desktop. The tool I did this with can actually do a whole lot more, but to get this effect the date and time was all I wanted. The program is called <br><br><a href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnNhbXVyaXplLmNvbS9tb2R1bGVzL25ld3Mv" target="_self">Samurize</a><br><br>and it is pretty neat. I have seen people embed media players, pictures, and lots of other stuff. Look around on the website for examples.<br><br>Using a simple registry mod I have removed the recycle bin to make way for everything else.<br><br>Now for what you really want to know about, those menus. They are FULLY functional. Those are actual tabs on the sides, each with full menus of applications.<br><br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/desktop-1.jpg"><br><br>Now see the flyout menu when I click the folder? It displays the entire contents!<br>This magic was done with a program called <br><br><a href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnN0YXJkb2NrLmNvbS9wcm9kdWN0cy9vYmplY3Rkb2NrLw==" target="_self">Objectdock</a><br><br>It is a program to create 'Mac OsX' like docks. Now admittedly I did this with the pro version, which I stole from www.ddl2.com, but I recommend that if you get software from this website you scan it with your virus software because it is often bad. It took a lot of playing around and downloading themes and such to get this done, and now&nbsp; I don't really know what I've accomplished, but it sure is neat!!!<br><br>

another big idea

When I come across something that I wrote in the past I am often surprised by how articulate and eloquent I can sometimes be. Sometimes I write letters to the editor, sometimes I respond to opinion blogs, etc. When I am able to recover them, I post them on this blog so I'll have a record. Anyway, this one I wrote in response to this:

http://blog.wired.com/biotech/2006/12/do_you_have_a_b.html

an article propigating the ridiculous and dangerous notion that there are genetic- not environmental- sex differences in the brain.:

The idea that there are, in fact, biological differences between male and female brains is almost exclusively American, supported by American data. The global research on the subject ranges from slightly dissonant to completely contradictory, in some cases providing exactly opposite conclusions as to the inherent tendencies and strengths of gendered thinking (verbal and linguistic vs. mathematical and spatial being the major distinction usually applied). Further, much of the data which supports these long held American conclusions is from earlier times when the socialization of activities and occupations was largely delineated down gender lines, a fact which provides more than enough alternative causation for gender differences. It is important to consider the ramifications of any notion that there are differences in the brains of the genders before casually perpetuating these unfounded American myths.

psychy 101

I haven't blogged in a while, but I haven't had anything to blog about. here goes: I have a deep dark secret that in this 'dog town' may seem a little blasphemous: I don't care about animals. I've always felt guilty about that fact, and never understood it. I'm not saying I hate them, and it's not even that I strictly tolerate them. I've lived with a few, had some cats growing up, and done my share of dog sitting, and I really don't mind them. I just have never been able to connect with them in the way some people seem to. I wonder if it's even possible for me to do so. As I said I've always felt guilty about this fact. I like kids, and I like baby animals. I'm environmentally conscious, a pacifist, and generally believe in caring and good will towards all creatures. So I should adore animals. I have some reservations about dog ownership if you don't have a lot of open space for them to run, and they are A LOT of work. I also think bird ownership is re-god-damn-diculous. I mean, what is it about birds that we find so fascinating and admire? They're magnificent ability to soar. So what do we do with them? We put them in a cage so small they can barely walk, let alone fly. Most other caged animals that we keep; lizards, hamsters, etc, are ridiculous by similar logic. But I digress... I was killing time so I decided to google the question "Why don't I like animals". I only found one site that attempted to answer the question. The grammar was strange, leading me to believe it was poorly translated english, which didn't lend too much credence, also it had one of those 'cosmo-magazine-quiz' rundowns of who likes and dislikes different kinds of pets along with a quick psych profile of each. At the end, though, it discussed the apathy towards all animals. First off it said that animal apathy didn't make one a bad person. Phew. Then it gave 5 or 6 reasons why one may feel that way. The last one made sense, and I think I have solved, or at least deduced it's source in myself. To paraphrase, it said that one might find pets 'a poor substitute for human contact and connection'. I'm not saying that I intellectually agree with the idea, but I think that subconsciously that is how I feel. Of course, this opens up a whole other can of worms, and now I have another 'why' to solve, but it makes for something interesting to chew on.

you don’t know from busy

You wanna know about f'in busy? I'm so busy I fell guilty taking the time to write this blog. I just finished my third week of school and things are going fairly well. I am not out of money yet and my bills are paid till the end of november. That's pretty cool, eh? I bought some new glasses and some other stuff, not too much to show for my financial aid this round but that's okay, I had alot of old debts to pay off. School isn't really that hard, just tons of work. I am still a research assistant, which currently entails finding and copying articles for my professor, and also some IT work(as usual). I also got elected secretary of the society for physics students, which is additional work. I really need to get ahead of my homework, though. Yesterday I woke up at 10 and went directly to school, then I did homework till 10:15 at night, went to bed at 10:30. I don't mind doing it because I have decided that Saturday evening I stop, no matter what, and start again Monday morning. I have to be in the lab on Saturdays this quarter so I can't go out on Fridays anymore, but that'll just save me money and liver. I still cut loose Saturday night, and one night is really all anyone needs. I will have to do some work on Sundays as I have to study for the first comprehensive exam on Nov. 30th. All graduate students at PSU have to pass with 50% one of two exams covering thermodynamics, mechanics, experimental physics, quantum mechanics and modern physics. I have until winter of 2010 to pass. It is strictly from memory, no notes or anything! I think I can do it but its gonna take some hard work. I'm currently taking 'current electricity', 'electricity and magnetism', and 'experimental physics' which is essentially a circuit building class. So after this quarter I will be the world's leading expert on electricity. Not really, but I'll know alot about it. I have three chapters to read by tomorrow night, and also some journal articles. Also, two books on crystallography that I have to fit in somewhere. I think the hardest thing is not actually doing the work, but budgeting my time. I will never again take vacations for granted. Bye.

privacy

someone violated my privacy a little while ago, someone I trusted and thought cared about me. Someone I cared about alot. I was never anything but nice to him, and he had no reason to do this to me, other than he likes to take advantage of women. Honestly, I'm really not that private a person. My life is an open book and I don't mind sharing the details of it. I think that the only things we have to be ashamed of are the things we can't share with friends. That said, I want to explain that It's not the privacy that I am upset about. I'm not embarassed or anything. I was doing nothing wrong. It's the violation that gets me. THE MOTHERFUCKER VIDEOTAPED ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND IS SHOWING IT TO PEOPLE. So if you get a chance to see it, go ahead. I ain't mad at ya. I'd rather get it over with and have everybody get a good look rather than have the whispers behind my back thinking I don't know what's going on.
I've had offers of revenge, people close to me who are willing to do nasty things in my name. I have so far declined. (I'm thinking I may yet get an opportunity, but if I do it'll be something benign like laxative or the like)

THERE IS NOTHING I OR ANYONE ELSE CAN DO TO MAKE THE MOTHERFUCKER'S LIFE ANY WORSE.


the end.

an old work

This is something I wrote for my applications to New York and I thought it was good so I'm sharing it. I know from experience that skills and aptitude do not necessarily equate to achievement. I found this to be true in my own education as well as what I have observed working with young people. What is the problem? What barriers prevent seemingly competent children from reaching their potential? I would wager that many children suffer from the same difficulty, one I suffered from as well. When I was in high school I was an underachiever. I didn't perform nearly as well as my assessment test scores predicted, and I barely graduated. I remember feeling empty. When I returned to school as an adult I found what I was missing. A special teacher, who I imitate often, showed me the enormous value of my own unique skills. I found purpose, patience, and persistence, and the grades to prove it. This is not so simple as it sounds, however. As educators we believe in the infinite capacity of all children to learn. We try to impress on our students that we know they are capable of the highest of heights, and do our best to give an excess of positive feedback. But encouragement is not enough. Many children need more than just encouragement. They are smarter even than we imagine. A pat on the back and a "You can do it!" may not be sufficient. They need a reason why. They need to understand in this great big world, how they could be of any importance. Why would the universe, in its infinite wisdom, need anything from them? What could they, 1 of billions, possibly have to offer? It is that question that the quote from Martha Graham answers. "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique" Why does the world need just one person? Because, though there are many, you are special, you are different, you are unique. No one else has your voice, speaking from your experiences. If you do not contribute to humanity the gift of your own expression, who else will say what you could have? For this reason the self exploration offered by the arts is vital to cultivating this sense of importance in our children. Through creative outlets, it teaches them to find their own unique voice. Further, it teaches them to mold, shape, and perfect it so they may make it heard. I believe the arts are a path to help our children find the meaning they need to reach their full potential.