spf 45

went to the river today and got nice n burnt. was going to go out tonight but was too tired. see yall next weekend

have you ever seen a bee with a sunburned knee?

haven't blogged in a while, i'm kinda out of practice. I think i'm in heavy heavy like. the who is a me to know, you to find out sort of situation. just know that i'm a little spun right now. (and it's not martin). speaking of that sitch, there are some interesting events to report; night after night of ....NOTHING. no sex. not even heavy petting. I must say i'm kinda surprised about that, but it definitely would have interfered with my heavy like. He actually turned me down! just once, and that was enough for me to not try again. in hindsight i'm glad. i was kind of doing it because the person i like was on my shit list and i was ready to put an end to my feelings, but now i feel that might have been hasty. I am obsessed with food. I'm sure i've said it before, but i really watch food network like it's mtv (think mtv like it used to be. you know, when it would show videos (cool ones) most of the time, with spurts of news every now and then, and everyone under the age of 30 would have it on in the background for hours at a time) well that's how i watch food network. I haven't decided who my favorite chefs are, though. I like sarah moulton alot, and giada delaurentis is so petite i just want to put her in my pocket. her presentation of italian dishes is quite mesmerising. i guess my favorite would have to be alton brown. I don't know that he's ever been a professional chef, as in a restaurant, but he has his own show called good eats. What makes his show so good is the way he focuses on one subject, say eggs for example and goes through all the myths and popular ways to handle it. He backs up all of his suggestions with explanations and science. My math classes are going alright. I had a nervous breakdown in vector class on weds. I got one of my homeworks back and i got 3/30 on it. The teacher grades homework randomly and two of the three problems he graded happened to be the ones i didn't do. I did poorly on the first homework and on the first midterm, so i was a bit worried. I was a little distraught so i went in the bathroom and balled for a minute. I was mostly upset because i wasn't getting the material. this is my major so that is my main concern. the grade is really just a means to me. it'll be alright, im sure. On a few lighter notes we're going to the river saturday. right now it's myself, martin, lynn, jackie, and maybe jessica. i haven't told them but i plan on packing a nice picnic, with cheeses, fruit and bread. i will also be making a fruit and juice concoction to mix with a bottle of cheap white wine. yeah!!!! did i mention i'm in like. anyway. schools almost out, but these last two weeks will be a little hectic. after that i need to do some workin!

million dollar baby

was made because they weren't confident they could tug at your heart strings enough with a girl athletic story. so they had to tug at them titanic style. Friday night lights, now theres a movie. to bad no body is brave enough to make a movie like that about women's sports. FIGHT THE MUTHAFUCKIN POWER, YA HEARD

math

as many of you know i am a math major. I have been considering majoring in math to enter the grad teacher ed program so i can teach hs math so i can get my loans forgiven while pursuing my physics phd. now that that's clear i would like to wax regarding my math education. I am currently learning multivector calculus. Bare with me here, i shall test my skills. If you've ever taken any math beyond algebra 1, you know that when we deal with theoretical math we deal with x. It is our standard variable. We have spent our entire mathematical careers studying the world of numbers in terms of x. This quarter i have to relearn the whole process with multiple variables. theres x, and y and sometimes t,r or maybe the greek letters theta, rho, lambda, mu etc. all of which have their appropriate contexts depending on the phenomenon you are studying. t is used for functions studying time, theta is a angles in radians, rho lambda and mu are for spherical coordinate systems. Then theres d for the determinant or maybe derivative, h for the hessian, and on and on and on. I have no problem with these different variables, i just wish they hadn't seen fit to spring ALL of them on us in one condensed summer session. I am having no problem with the concepts, its the fucking notation i haven't seen before that is stumping me. oh and we are learning all these processes in terms of two variables instead of just one. anyway, i'm going to bed now.

seriously folks

first off i acquired "chicken in black". for those of you who don't know it is the last song recorded by Johnny Cash before he left columbia records. It was only released as a single, never on a record. They thought it was so terrible he was released from his contract because of it (he died with a lifetime contract with def American-def as in Ric Rubin).I actually doubted whether it really existed. I think it's great. It's about a brain transplant gone wrong. I had a very light weekend. I had no hangover saturday or sunday, which is highly unusual for me. Lynn and I hung out with some boys from the creature team, one of whom we have decided is capital F fine. I would really like to go to the river next weekend. if anyone else wants to go I think that a good picnic and some good beer would be in order. Sandy, Clackamas, Washougal, whatever. I have a live in chef, for the time being. Martin was a professional chef for a long time and he is more than willing to share his skills. I love it because i love to cook too, but i am deficient in the finer points of culinaria. Lastly, i am very concerned that a Sandra Day O'connor has resigned. Roe v Wade is all but lost. I have some problems with abortion passed the first month or so, but i think it is absolutely essential that it remain law, barring partial birth abortion. I am resigned to that fact because i don't see any way to stop it. I will be happy if it doesn't, but i have no faith in this administration.

Calculus

Is hard. my classes are way harder than at pcc. I kinda think its only because the teachers are not as good, not because of the content.

martin wins the contest for coolest dude ever.

i can only recount what i was told, i cannot verify. the last thing i remember was sitting at the table with dr.j and myi sisters boyfriend. after that i woke up. I have absolutely deleted from my brain every shred of evidence that anything happened in between those two events. As they have been told to me, the subsequent events are as follows: I was "waltzed" out by Martin as that was the easiest way for him to carry me. He and Dr. J escorted me to my house where they carried me inside, at which point my pants fell (sans underwear, oh horror). I used to date Martin so this is not new, um, information so to speak. Then i threw up on everything i own. Martin cleaned this up for me as i was incapacitated. I guess i spent a few hours in the bathroom, still bottomless, while the party raged on without me. I am kind of mortified that Martin saw me like this. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I have never blacked out so utterly, but have definitely never puked in my sleep or even been incapacitated. At the very least i'm conscious. However i won't even try to convince him of that. Thanks to everyone for comin out and i'll see yall next weekend where i will try to stay conscious.