state of the union

I went to the APS conference in Pittsburgh. Not much to report on that, it was much as you'd expect, pictures to come. It was intense, I can say that for the experience. There were 7000 physicists in one town for a week. It starts at 8 in the morning and goes till five at night with 3, 3 hour sessions a day, and each of those sessions has 15 to 45 minute mini sessions where each person gives their 'talk'. They tell what their new and exciting research has produced. Then there were evening sessions, dinners, meetings and such. I went to my invited conference on sunday, that was why I went in the first place, and I went to 3 out of 6 sessions on monday and tuesday. The other time I spent in the exhibit hall and then tooling around pittsburgh, blah blah blah. Unless you care about physics you wont care about my trip, but I do have a moderately interesting story to recount.
When I was a waitress I was the queen of tray carrying. I could always carry a full and awkward tray with no spills, mess, or dropping. Its not that I was super talented, I just knew the secret. Occasionally I would meet another waitress who did not know the secret and I would try many different methods with all possible humility and tact to explain it, but without fail, they never appreciated the magnitude of the secret. No matter how much pain and suffering it would save them, they simply were not grateful.
When I was in Pittsburgh I was at a bar by my hotel having dinner and I witnessed yet another waitress making the big tray mistake. Many people when carrying a tray will attempt to place the drinks evenly and equidistant from each other around the whole surface of the tray and then try to precariously hold it at the center of gravity and balance with all their might. Then, not only are they all far away from the center of mass, they all are radially removed from it so they will often have extra velocity than the place at which you are holding it. (think of a record player, the edge of the record makes a circle in the same length of time as the center, but covers a much greater distance, therefore greater velocity). This means it has more momentum and requires greater force to stop, force that you are not applying except to the place where you are holding.
It need not be that difficult at all. The SECRET is to stack all the drinks together in a clump, with the rims of the glasses touching one another. Then not only are they closer to the center of mass, some are even right over it. Also, the force applied when you stop moving is very efficiently applied to all the drinks, and they all have the same velocity and require the same force to stop. Much more stable too, wider base to height ratio.
If you keep that in mind when setting your drinks, you could place the whole clump at the far edge and it doesn't matter as long as you place your hand roughly under the center of the drinks.
So when I saw this young lady making the mistake, it gave me pain. I was tempted, even, to explain it too her yet again. But now, even though I could even explain the physics behind it to her, I still don't think she would have appreciated it.

007

After Roger Moore finished his last james bond movie there was debate over who should play him next. I was a huge fan of Remington Steele at the time, and of course, Pierce Brosnan was up for the part. I just knew he was perfect for it. Who did they choose? Timothy f'ing Dalton. Two movies later, they finally saw the light, and Pierce did 3 movies as the spy. Proving, of course, that I am always right. Then, after Brosnan's run, it was time to choose a new one. I had heard a rumor that Clive Owen was being considered. I had recently seen a movie called 'Croupier' in which Owen starred brilliantly, and I just knew he was the right man. Whom did they choose? Daniel Craig, a f'ing blonde. Hopefully they see the light, because I would LOVE to see Clive Owen as 007. I think he might need to be a bit older, though. Also, rumor has it, he turned it down. Whatever, they just need to remember that I am always right.

FISHER PRICE my first electron microscope

<font style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -webkit-monospace; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;" size="undefined">Today I took my very first SOLO electron microscope images. An electron microscope bombards the surface of a specimen with, you guessed it, electrons, and then measures the energy of the reflected electrons to create a topographical image of a sample. The microscope used for the teaching purposes of the class I am taking was built in, like, 1978, so there is a nob for everything. I wish I could show you a picture but they are so old that google images does not have one. The item I imaged was this:<br><br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/pii.jpg"></font> The area marked 1 is what these images are of. It is the contact for this card when it is inserted into a board.&nbsp; I will be imaging areas 2 and 3 as well, but I am starting with 1. The first image I took was at 15x magnification:<br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/15xsamp1-1.jpg"><br>Not that high mag, but exciting none the less.<br>Next was 50 mag I think.<br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/50xsamp1-1.jpg"><br>Notice how the silicon board area in between the contact is starting to become less of a solid area and much more wavy.<br><br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/150xsam1.jpg"><br>I think this was 500. Check out how weird the silicon area is starting to look.<br><br>Then I did the connector and silicon individually:<br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/500xsa1.jpg"><br>I didn't clean the specimen with alcohol before, only water so some of those artifacts may disappear. That's the connector, btw.<br><img src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r134/aclauer/1500xsa1-1.jpg"><br>Thats the silicon. <br><br>Anyway, it's very exciting for me. Also, xray analysis proved that the connector is primarily gold.<br>

guilty pleasures

This is a list, in no particular order, of things I like, or things that make me happy, that are
a. bad for me
b. geekier than usual
c. embarassing
d. all of the above

Some of them I admit to, some I dont.

The tv show 'Friends'
that song 'Hey there delilah'
Dirtbag boys (though I pick ones with jobs)
taco bell
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
My married math professor (I wouldn't act on it)
letting people know how smart I am
beer
beer
liquor
beer
making out while drunk
karaoke
Dave Matthews band
showing off my Lexus (I mean really, its a '92)
porn
porn
teen movies (especially: bring it on, ten things I hate about you, mean girls, save the last dance, etc)
pining for old loves
gossip
celebrity gossip
Sarah Machlachlan
Sheryl Crow
Fleetwood Mac
Bob Seger
Meatloaf (the band)
talking about sex
Tonya Harding
Dive bars
being needed
star trek the next generation
money from my dad
myspace
blogging

And now you know everything

my first astronaut

Tuesday I met my first astronaut. I have to thank my E&M professor, Erik Sanchez, for being sick that day, thus allowing me to miss class and attend the lecture of Don Pettit, scientist and astronaut. Dr. Pettit spent 5 1/2 months aboard the space station performing all sorts of experiments and such. The interesting stuff, though, was what he did in his off time. First he showed us his view of the aurora borealis, which was freakin amazing. It was hundreds of miles of green glow. Then he went on to tell about the wacky experiments he came up with to perform in his off time. First, there was the sphere of water. As you know, there is no gravity up there, so liquids exist in spheres. He injected an air bubble into the sphere, then injected water bubbles inside that. The bubbles behaved really strangely. They rolled around the interior surface of the sphere and sometimes bounced from side to side. Every once and a while, though, they would give up some of their mass to be absorbed into the bigger bubble. When they did this, they maintained the same momentum with a much smaller mass, resulting in a much higher velocity, so they would shoot off across the bubble. It's kinda like when an ice skater extends her arms to slow down and retracts them to speed up. Sort of. Next he took another sphere of water and placed an alka seltzer tablet in it. That was kind of hard to describe, but essentially it bubbled and grew till it was almost twice its original size. There was more stuff like that. A gyroscopically balanced flashlight made of three cd players taped together in different directions, turned on to stablize it. You could put it somewhere and it wouldn't move. The most interesting thing, though, was the spiders. Apparently they took spiders into space to see what they'd do. They spun webs, of course, cause bird's gotta fly, spider's gotta spin. The webs turned out like garbage. At first... after a couple days they started to manage just fine, and their webs turned out correctly. Weird. They also took caterpillars to test their cocoons, but Dr. Pettit left before he could see that experiment play out. What I really want to know, though, is how the butterfly would fly. They fly by using their wings against the air to create lift, and they get used to flapping with enough power that the lift overcomes the force of gravity. Well, there's still air in the space shuttle. Would the butterfly attempt one flap and then shoot across the shuttle due to no gravity to weigh it down? That would be something to see. Anyway, I was definitely star struck, and he explained what his take on the process to becoming an astronaut is. First, he said that a military background does help, although its not vital. Negative. Next, he said you had to know your way around a screwdriver. In this environment, if any of your machinery breaks, you have the possibility that you might not be able to perform experiments, maybe you might not be able to survive. So you have to know how to fix stuff. Check. Also, a background in science is vital, preferrably ME, EE, CE, Physics, Chem, and some medical sciences. Advanced degree, check. Also, the best thing he said was that scientist astronauts are generally chosen in their early 40's, due to maturity and experience. AWESOME!!!! Anyway, the good doctor was a big nerd just like me, and I have renewed hope that I may make it up there someday.

Crisis averted

I think I got it figured out. Bear with me, this one is gonna take the scenic route.

So there was this show I used to love called Dharma & Greg. The main character Greg was an uptight OCD attorney, and Dharma was a mellow, free spirited yoga teacher. At one point, Greg decides he doesn't like the fast track he is on and quits the rat race to 'follow his bliss'. Fast forward a few weeks and he is arguing with Dharma about everything. He eventually winds up growing a beard and sitting in a park feeding the birds. Finally, he winds up giving legal advice to the homeless and less fortunate types he meets there. The moral of the story? He discovers that being a lawyer is not just what he does, but what he IS.

I think my main crisis lately has been more a deep seeded fear that I'm not good enough to be a physicist, and not that I'm not sure if I want to.

So for the last week or so I have been going crazy with school stress. Actually its been more like math & physics stress. I have equations swimming in my head day and night, and eventually I get delirious with brain fry. I finished the midterm that was not helping my frying, and had calmed down a bit. I've been working pretty hard this week and my work day has been ending pretty late. Tonight I stopped working at 11. My roommate is taking a math class, and sometimes he asks me for help or just likes to talk about it, and tonight he was doing just that. I tried to follow what he was saying and when I couldn't it started giving me anxiety. I decided then and there I was going to have to impose a personal stop time when I put all numbers and such away completely and don't use that part of my brain for the rest of the night. 20 minutes later, without even realizing it, I was answering other peoples math and physics questions on a homework help website.

Soy como soy.

I think therefore I am. Or something.

If you've spent time around me recently you know that I've been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. At first I thought it was midterms, then I thought it was pms, and it did turn out to be a bit of both those things, but It has lingered. It just hit me how long I've been spending my days doing math and physics problems. Theoretically that will all stop, sort of , after I finally graduate. I have realized that I am not going to be a theoreticist. I think I'm gonna be an experimentalist. I think that my computer business/hobby made me realize that. I really like physics, but I especially like the fancy equipment we use to do physics, like vacuums, microscopes, etc. I kind of like being really needed, the way I am now. Programmers and CE's are alright, but even they still need me. I think that's gonna be my niche. I know it sounds silly, but I have this vision of myself in a spaceship in the future, and I'm the one that keeps all the machines running. I'm so invaluable and no one can do what I do, that's what gets me on the crew in the first place. That's also why they have to accept me, loud and aggressive, tattoos and all. It's sort of a movie in my head. That leads me to my point; the existentialism in my career has lead to some other reevaluation. I am 32, I am as single as it gets. I have no kids, I'm a MS student who won't really get to start my career till I'm 37. I am going to be probably $100,000 in debt (and a Doctor, so i guess it balances). I don't own a house I don't have a retirement, and I don't know where I'm going to school in 2 years. What is my point? Where is this going? That's what I want to know.