privacy

someone violated my privacy a little while ago, someone I trusted and thought cared about me. Someone I cared about alot. I was never anything but nice to him, and he had no reason to do this to me, other than he likes to take advantage of women. Honestly, I'm really not that private a person. My life is an open book and I don't mind sharing the details of it. I think that the only things we have to be ashamed of are the things we can't share with friends. That said, I want to explain that It's not the privacy that I am upset about. I'm not embarassed or anything. I was doing nothing wrong. It's the violation that gets me. THE MOTHERFUCKER VIDEOTAPED ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND IS SHOWING IT TO PEOPLE. So if you get a chance to see it, go ahead. I ain't mad at ya. I'd rather get it over with and have everybody get a good look rather than have the whispers behind my back thinking I don't know what's going on.
I've had offers of revenge, people close to me who are willing to do nasty things in my name. I have so far declined. (I'm thinking I may yet get an opportunity, but if I do it'll be something benign like laxative or the like)

THERE IS NOTHING I OR ANYONE ELSE CAN DO TO MAKE THE MOTHERFUCKER'S LIFE ANY WORSE.


the end.

an old work

This is something I wrote for my applications to New York and I thought it was good so I'm sharing it. I know from experience that skills and aptitude do not necessarily equate to achievement. I found this to be true in my own education as well as what I have observed working with young people. What is the problem? What barriers prevent seemingly competent children from reaching their potential? I would wager that many children suffer from the same difficulty, one I suffered from as well. When I was in high school I was an underachiever. I didn't perform nearly as well as my assessment test scores predicted, and I barely graduated. I remember feeling empty. When I returned to school as an adult I found what I was missing. A special teacher, who I imitate often, showed me the enormous value of my own unique skills. I found purpose, patience, and persistence, and the grades to prove it. This is not so simple as it sounds, however. As educators we believe in the infinite capacity of all children to learn. We try to impress on our students that we know they are capable of the highest of heights, and do our best to give an excess of positive feedback. But encouragement is not enough. Many children need more than just encouragement. They are smarter even than we imagine. A pat on the back and a "You can do it!" may not be sufficient. They need a reason why. They need to understand in this great big world, how they could be of any importance. Why would the universe, in its infinite wisdom, need anything from them? What could they, 1 of billions, possibly have to offer? It is that question that the quote from Martha Graham answers. "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique" Why does the world need just one person? Because, though there are many, you are special, you are different, you are unique. No one else has your voice, speaking from your experiences. If you do not contribute to humanity the gift of your own expression, who else will say what you could have? For this reason the self exploration offered by the arts is vital to cultivating this sense of importance in our children. Through creative outlets, it teaches them to find their own unique voice. Further, it teaches them to mold, shape, and perfect it so they may make it heard. I believe the arts are a path to help our children find the meaning they need to reach their full potential.

I finally did it

I down graded my laptop from vista to xp. For one thing I wanted to delete the recovery partition, cause, let's be frank; I don't need it. Plus I was just tired of how much drive space everything took up, my drive was full with only 20 or 30 gigs of music. XP just takes up less of everything. Also, I'm gonna try and get a new laptop on Happy Financial Aid Day so I think I'll give this one to my sister, and there's no way she could navigate Vista. I have to admit I miss the look of Vista, if nothing else. It's much slicker. I've only been reinstalled for a few hours and I'm already sick of looking at xp. I'll fix that, though. BTW I'm pouring out some liquor for my homies locked up in jail. It is 12:40 and I have fixed the ugliness. There is a theme that was intended for xp media center but pretty much gives the sleek feel of vista. It's called Royale and you can get it HERE It installs just like a program, then just right click on the desktop and click properties. It will be there with the themes. I highly recommend it, it relieves the duldroms of xp

love stinks

you love her
she loves him
he loves somebody else
you just cant win

computers and mad men

i could bitch. I am feeling discontent, and I could talk all about it. I could whine about my boy problems. I won't, but I will say that I am tired of having a melodramatic love life. Truth is, I think it's just the Sunday blues. I've written about it before, and if you are a faithful reader you remember. Most things are good. I love my new apartment, Dan is a great roommate, and we are getting on well. I got some computers to work on, which makes me happy. One of them was a huge pain, actually. It was a dell laptop with a bios password that prevented even the most basic access to the machine. I couldn't even boot off the cd drive, which would have allowed me to use my super secret hack tools to crack the password. Apparently, this particular breed of password protection is especially difficult. I beat it though, of course. I only had to take it apart and short out the bios chip with a bobby pin! So I get past that and guess what? HARD DRIVE PASSWORD!!!! So far all my sources online say those are IMPOSSIBLE to crack, but still have a few tricks up my sleeve. Let's just say I know people. It wouldn't be a big deal except that a new laptop hard drive is $40 or more, and I don't think the owner of this machine will spring for it. So pretty much all I did today was sit around and work on 3 laptops. While you all were out enjoying the sun I was inside like a true geek. I didn't even shower and I have been sweating booze all day (ewww). Oh, did I mention that the building outside my window is getting the roof painted, so there were laborers with a leaf blower at 9 am? Domingo!! Domingo!! (Sunday).   Mad Men was fantastic tonight. Salvatore is married now, and I can't believe it. Jimmy Barret called Don out for screwing his wife. Some little rookie secretary is trying to battle Joan, and she has no idea who she's screwing with. I have to relay a story I insisted on telling Dan tonight, even though he promised me it would be meaningless since this was his first time watching the show, but whatever. So Joan is the vampy head of the secretarial pool, and at first I didn't really like her. The name of the agency is Sterling-Cooper, and she was sleeping with the married Roger Sterling. She has professed that she has no aspirations toward any higher career and is looking for a husband. She is the epitome of the 60's party girl/siren. As many of you have heard me say, I don't really respect women that don't think they can make it on their brains.  So anyway, somebody had this brainstorm for a playtex bra campaign that all women are either a Jackie or a Marilyn (I wonder which one I am). To prove his point, he opens the office door and points to the women in the office: Jackie, Jackie, Marilyn, you get the idea. But when he gets to Joan (the siren) he says, "Well Marilyn's a Joan, not the other way around" or something to that effect. There was such awe and reverence in his voice. It was a strange kind of respect that I wouldn't think would get to me. Anyway.I always thought the only thing I ever wanted to be respected for was my brain and my character. I just never imagined that kind. My summer is almost over and the real grind begins. Its either gonna be way better (I'm in grad school now, don't forget) or the end of life as we know it. I have my first institutional exam that I have to pass, its general physics so I should be alright. I built a laptop for my professor's son, and I'm about to build a mac for one of the Commish's homies at the skatepark nonprofit. I'm looking forward to that. I haven't dealt with mac's much so this is will be a good introduction. There is a mac build program at my church (free geek) and the PC build program is where I learned alot of what I already know. I am so f'ing impressed with myself for cracking that bios password. I am the queen of all electronics. TTFN.

ode to my sister

So I broke up with my bf about 4 months ago. I finally went back and tracked down what day it was (May 6th) so I could stop saying 3 months, because I didn't know but knew that wasn't right. My sister was also in a long term relationship that started at roughly the same time. If I moved to Alaska during mine, she dropped off the face of the fucking earth. It really wasn't her fault: she lived in Vancouver and didn't have a car. It is really hard to be mobile in those conditions. the moral of this story is that I didn't get to see my sister much in the last 2 years. She finally broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with a friend, and she is much closer in (60th and Division). I too lived in Vancouver for a spell, and now I am much closer in (SE 13th and Pine). I want to take a minute to appreciate how close that is to EVERYTHING!!! That is not the point of my blog, however it is a very good point. The point of my blog is my sister and I have been spending a lot more time together now, since she is looking for a job and I have a car. I was also mad at her for a spell, which is fair since she was mad at me too. Anyway, I forgot how much my sister and I are a matched set. We get along quite well, we are a lot alike, and we have a lot of fun together. Nobody in this world understands me like she does, and that is important when you're as weird as me. We get each others jokes, most of which are inside, and we have a LOT of them (Klopek, what is that, Slavik?). I'm rambling, but what I'm getting at is it's good to have her back.