The unbearable lightness of being

I think the agnostics have the right idea. Technically speaking I am a scientist. I have a Bachelor of Sciencein Mathematics. That is not, however, what most people think of when they hear the word science. Math is what you would call a pure science or a theoretical science. The other brands are more like applied sciences. I am about to return to school to pursue a second bachelor of science in a subject people do think of when they hear the word; physics. Anywho, my point is I'm a scientist. I'm also a Christian. I generally like to specify exactly what my version of Christianity entails so as to seperate my self from the fundamentalist herds, or rather, lemmings, if you prefer, but I feel that would detract from the issue at hand. So I'll skip it...this time. I am a Christian, but I am first and foremost a scientist. If ever the two are contradictory I will try like hell to compromise, but if that's not possible I will choose empiricism over spirituality. Which leads me to my rant. I have never had a problem resolving my status as a scientist with my spirituality. There are, apparently, many who have. Science is probably the single most common justification for atheism. Atheists cite the lack of evidence as proof that god does not exist. This is not entirely unjustifiable in my opinion. I believe what I do largely due to personal experiences which support (or prove) the basis of my ideas and I am not convinced I would if simply left to faith. Therefore I don't expect others to believe on that basis. The lack of evidence of a higher  power does, in fact, support a hypothesis to that end. However, if the proposition is the existence of God, lack of evidence does not constitute disproof, or rather, proof of the absence of God. Lack of evidence to support any proposition does not constitute disproof, it merely constitutes lack of evidence. Therein lies my beef with atheism. I feel atheists hold them selves in higher intellectual regard, having sensibly selected the superior position based on principles of the scientific method. Then they, who place science as a way of thinking above all others, go and ignore what constitutes a logical fallacy. This may be a strange time to quote the bible, but you are judged by your own measure.   That is a sin I would forgive others for more easily.

I finally did it.

I cut it all off.

teaching sucks

I'm coming home!!! C U Next Tuesday (literally)

NYC

I know you are all wondering why I haven't written this sooner, since you are waiting with baited breath to find out how my brand new life is. Well the short version is: Fine.  Wanna hear the long version?
    The reason I am writing right now is there is very loud music outside my house and I can't hear much, so tv related activities are out of the question. Honestly, in Portland I would be able to call the cops and they would come and shut it down. Here if I called the cops (not that I would) I think their response would be "Yah, we'll get to that right after we solve all the murders and robberies". But you know, I should embrace it since it keeps property values down and subsequently, my rent. Not to mention the crash course in the NY hip hop scene, which is honestly not a bad thing. I'm debating going to Coney Island tomorrow, but I'm still short on funds, so we'll see. I went to the Guggenheim last night with JLE and her boyfriend. Actually we ended up only running into each other and not actually being there together, but I'm sure I'll have plenty more opportunities to see miss Lena. Unfortunately they are working on the biggest rennovation ever on the facade of the Gugg. and the entire building is covered so I didn't even get to see it.  If you're not familiar with the structure it is a Frank Lloyd Wright design, and one of his best, IMO. Anyway, I was as excited about seeing the outside as the inside, so that kinda sucked, but it'll reopen at the end of the year. The art, though, was fantastic. I was speechless, and could have spent hours staring at some of the picasso's an kandinskys. There was a Van Gogh, also, that was small but exquisite. It was of the entrance to a brick tunnel. I really enjoyed some of the abstracts, which surprised me. One of the major shows was Neo-impressionism, a movement I'm not really familiar with, but it contained a lot of pointilism (the dot method). There was also one of the well-known degas ballerina pictures. It was honestly one of the most exciting experiences of my life. A highlight for sure. Here are some of the works I saw
Gaetano Previati: Dance of the hours

Renoir

Vassily Kandinsky


Pablo picasso above
Renoir below


And Robert Delaunay.

Anyway, you'll be happy to know I had a brief bout of homesickness and almost threw in the towel, but my parents talked me out of it (guilted is more like it). I think things just got to me. I am broke, and they are being dicks about my stipend since PSU hasn't sent my degree yet, it is really hot here and my neighbors can be loud, even at night, I was having trouble sleeping, I didn't know where anything was, I was having doubts about whether this was what I wanted to do, and I think I just missed everyone. After an entire night not sleeping from worry I almost got on a plane. After going to the Guggenheim I realize what a terrible mistake that would have been. Not only is this a great opportunity, but it's a great opportunity that will lead to other opportunities. It will mean chances to fulfill other dreams. I will be able to finally go to Thailand, and pretty much any other place I want. I will be able to visit many of the other important American cities since many of them are close by. I will be able to go to Florida and bake in the sun. I will be able to go to Canada, eh. I will be able to buy a home and start building equity. I will be able to buy a car (which is really only ridiculous if you live in Manhattan). I will be able to pay off my meager credit card debt. I will be able to start my life.
    Anyway, my neighborhood, other than being loud, is alright. Not the best I could have hoped for, not the worst. There are TONS of tiny eateries with cheap food, two grocery stores within 3 blocks, a Rite-Aid, a post office, furniture stores, and don't even get me started on the clothes. There are great clothing stores just down the street from my house. I am in the Bushwick section of Brooklyn, and it's alright. I think I have fallen in love with an area called Jamaica in queens, though. So stay tuned to see if I move there. I'll sign off for tonight because I just don't feel like writing anymore (it's later here, remember) but I'll keep you updated with more pictures an what not. If you didn't catch the first batch, here's the link to the album:

NYC album

You asked for it: NYC

Photobucket Album

I am a democrat

But I take exception to a hypocracy of some of my fellow democrats. In the interest of discrediting republican opponents some of the talking heads we choose to let represent us as a party have taken to criticizing the love life of Rudy Guiliani. Not to mention we just stood by and watched the crucifixion of Larry Craig. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we the very same party who deplored the impeachement of Bill Clinton on the principle that what a person does in their own bedroom is their own business? And now don't we champion the cause of Gay rights as one of the pillars of our platform based on the same principle? And yet we are perfectly willing to use Guiliani's three marriages against him? anywho.

Printed in the Mercury (again)

I was printed in the merc again. No biggie, I've been printed in there. And I have no complaints this time except they edited out my whole point, which was this: Tonya Harding, whatever else she is, was a phenomenal skater. She was the first woman in the world to do a triple axle. So strap on some skates bitches, then talk shit. I think I also may have mentioned something about camaro's and peroxide in all of our collective pasts.


Anyway, heres the letter as printed.


TOTALLY TONYA

DEAR MERCURY—Give Tonya [Harding] a break [One Day at a Time, March 22, in which Ann Romano comments on Harding's recent bizarre calls to police]. Portlanders are fair-weather fans as it is, but could it be that we ostracize Ms. Harding so because she represents what we fear and wish to stifle in ourselves? Try though you might to bury yourself in organic coffee, indie music, and designer clothes from NW 23rd, your mother raised you on Meatloaf's "Bat Outta Hell" just like me. And maybe if we leave her alone she'll stop acting so weird.

Amber Lauer, proud former Greshamite

good bye to sandra dee

It's been a faithful name since I joined myspace (except for a few brief stints when I was tonya harding and shiela E) but the time has come to say goodbye to la borracha. For one thing it's not really true any more. I went out last night, had five beers, and now all I can think is how that life is so not me anymore. Granted, I may change my mind in NYC, but for now I am a born again light weight. The main reason, though, is employment. I just joined a myspace group for NYC teaching fellows. Also, I have heard of potential employers reading your myspace, and frankly that is not the moniker I want them to see. Therefore, "La Borracha" is dead, rise from the ashes "Electron". I've actually used that name before, and I still like it. My brother introduced me to it, it is what they call the substance we call Amber in french (petrified tree sap). You should be hearing "Taps" in your head right now.

u, me, and NYC

did you all know that Jessica Lena Evans is in NYC? I guess I did, but I never put two and two together. Well, it looks like her and I might be roomies! How crazy. Anywho. The bf's new personal media player came yesterday, and he is officially in love. Look for our homemade porn to sweep the internet anyday now. But my boobs are real. You really should look into it if you're in the market. 20gb with a video camera (1.3 mpixels) and fm radio for 160 dollars. Honestly it's pretty sweet. I haven't bought anything online lately and I'm going through withdrawals. There are two pairs of doc's i've got my eye on, some motorcycle boots and some balletish flats. I might have to buy them in an actual store, though, cause my friends from Widmer have a half off coupon. Ballet flats are not really my style but these are different, I swear. I have to build a professional wardrobe now, and I'm thinking stuff is cheaper here. Oh, and check it, when i visited my Widmer friends last weekend they gave me 5 cases of beer. Oh, I do miss the perks. Mike was ecstatic as you may well imagine. Gonna work out tomorrow, maybe to the Ramones. See you all on the town tomorrow!!!!

Revenge of the Nerds

Here are my tips for how to be a nerd (like me) I was going to html all the links but I'm tired. Just google it for god's sake.

basic (I really hope this is all old news to y'all)

1: Open Office. Open source MSOffice clone. More powerful everyday.
2: Spybot search and destroy. I rarely have a malware problem it can't tackle. If your computer get's sluggish, chances are it can fix it.
3: Mozilla firefox: I really hope you aren't still using internet explorer. Although iE 7 has tabbed browsing, this program is still the shit. It has more plugin's than i know what to do with, including one that logs into my cingular account and constantly displays my remaining minutes in the corner of the browser.
Also, if you use a little mini-hack I pioneered you can have your own little icon-link panel. Simply add a bookmark to the bookmark toolbar by dragging it down from the address bar. Then right click "properties" and delete the name. All that's left is the icon. i swear I am so cool.
4: Foodnetwork.com. Want to know how to make something? Find out here.

Intermediate (still may be a secret to some of you)

1: Gmail is no longer invitation only. You think you like your comcast account. Maybe your school account makes you happy. Whatever your status, your membership in those organizations is transient. Gmail is not. Get an account and see what all the fuss is about.
2: Mozilla suite. There is Web-browser, advanced e-mail and newsgroup client, IRC chat client, and HTML editing.

Advanced (Only the nerdiest of nerdy's)

1: Foxit reader. Very light pdf reader and creater. Takes a fraction of the time to open of acrobat, allows you to edit pdf's (with a copyright mark in the corner, but still, that's more than you can say for adobe), and best of all, it's free.
2: AlZip: Free multiplatform document unzipper. Including rar archives.
3: Blender 3d animation authoring software. Freeware. I don't know how to use it but it looks cool.
4: Gimp: freeware paint, animation, and image editing software. Not easy to lean but powerful.
5: Audacity. Audio editing freeware. Record anything off the internet. Edit preexisting files. I make ringtones with it (my phone interfaces with my computer). I think you can layer audio too, but I ain't that tricky. IMPORTANT: if you plan on saving files as mp3's there is a special file you have to download. Look for the info on the site.
6: Avast antivirus. Those free antivirus subscriptions run out in a year. Don't wait, uninstall them now and get this free provider.
7: Primo pdf. Adds an option to the printers at print time to print any document to a pdf file. Saved my but numerous times.
8: Ccleaner: Great if for no other reason than it's uninstaller utility. Also gives you access to all the programs that have permission to start at startup. Let's you make changes. Does other stuff too.
9: Fresh Diagnose: Ever want to know what motherboard you have without restarting and reading the bios startup screen? Or worse, opening up your computer? This program tells you that and does a whole lot more.

Lastly 10: Lifehacker.com. I have to give credit to that site because it's where I learned about a lot of this stuff.
There are many more freeware apps out there, I just don't use them. Anywho.

How did they know just what I wanted?

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anywho.
I am in the weeds people. I had a long ass weekend of nothing but homework. Like from the time I wake up till I go to bed. I had a brief interlude where I washed the spray paint off my window (finally). I also may have tiffed with my bf a bit. I also may have done some dancing (horizontal mombo). But other than that I swear I was doing homework alll weekend! I think it's gonna be like that for another couple days till I catch up. The strange thing is, weekends like this used to depress the hell out of me. It wasn't that bad though. I'm tird. Oh, and I bought bf a pmp this weekend to replace the old one (mine) which he broke. It has 20gb, video player, mp3, voice recorder, camcorder, camera, RF cables to record tv, and a george forman grill (jk). All for 159.00. I bought it on newegg.com. I was a little cautious at first but all the reviews were good. When I say buy I just meant I did the leg work. He paid for it. It looks like I'll be leaving for NYC on June 11th.

What is new

where to start. the world must be ending, for many reasons. 1: I don't think i'm going out this weekend. I just can't handle it right now. I'd rather spend the time doing homework, eating good food, drinking beer, watching cable (we got digital!), and playing GTA on PS2 (we bought a play station!). 2: All the "we's" in the previous paragraph. I'm still not changing my status, though. Not for any real reason, just general protest. 3: I'm trying to give up soda. slowly at first, but surely. 4: In addition to not going out this weekend, I think I'm going to sunday brunch and then househunting. Not for me (thank god), but still.... I might as well go to Hawthorne and buy overpriced yarn and start knitting on the bus. 5: My 'roomate' is rather good at yanking me out of bed when I try to puss out and skip school. I haven't missed a class yet (for the record I missed at least 10 classes of stats and still got a B-). On an unrelated note I just had to reinstall windows on my computer because I caught the "happy new year 2007" virus. I can usually get rid of my own viruses, but this one was INSANE!!! Towards the end, before I reinstalled, it was reporting my regular programs as infected so I would have to delete them. Admittedly it is probably my own fault for using black market copies of software. Still, this is the worst virus I have ever seen. After I reinstalled I did a thorough search of my storage drive (it's just files so usually the viruses which attack the OS don't affect them). By the time I was done it took almost a day and had found over 1000 infected files. My boyfriend was a bit shocked until I informed him why I was so calm. I will now also inform you, as it is the moral of my tragic computer tale. Backup your my documents folder. Most of you have a second hard drive, and if you don't, a zip drive will do, or any other storage medium. I'm pretty sure there's a way to write a virtual second drive onto your original that the windows installer will recognize and not delete, but I have a second drive so I didn't have to figure out how to do it. Any who, reinstalling used to be the biggest downer in the world, with all the loss of files it entails. Not anymore. I have all my music on the second storage drive and that all gets scanned right as it's downloading so it's safe. I have one of the MANY free backup programs (cobian backup, to be specific), which copies the contents of any folder you choose to any other place you choose at any regular interval you choose. I also have a folder in which I keep the installers of all the software I have acquired so that I can just reinstall from there. This time i deleted it all just to be safe, but who cares cause you can get it all off the web anyway. Reinstalling is much less painful now. In fact, the only thing I'm really annoyed about is that stupid virus beating me. Oh well, no virus survives a reinstall, so I guess I still win, sort-of.

Fellowship

i was getting impatient so I called. everyone who interviewed in Nov or Dec is hearing back in late Jan. I'll keep holding my breath.